Write a first cold email in under 50 words

What it does

Most cold emails are too long, too polished and about the sender. The ones that get answered read like a quick note from a person: a reason for writing, one line on what you do for them, and a question that’s easy to answer. Keep it to 25 to 50 words, counted from their name to the end of the PS.

What you need

• Your buyer page and copy bank (see build a copy bank)
• A real reason to write to each person now: a signal, something on their site, or someone you both know
• A sending tool that fills in names and first lines

How it works

1. 1

   Open with the reason

   The first line says why this person, and why now: a signal, something specific from their site, or who you have in common. “Saw you’re hiring a second dispatcher” beats any compliment.

2. 2

   Say what changes for them, in one line

   Not what your product is. What’s different for them after: the job that goes away, the number that moves. Use their words from your copy bank.

3. 3

   Ask one easy question

   Ask for a reply, not a meeting. “Worth a look?” or a yes-or-no question about their world. One ask per email.

4. 4

   Add a PS if you have something strong

   A guarantee, a result someone like them got, or something free you’ll send. If you don’t have one, leave it off.

5. 5

   Cut it to 25 to 50 words

   No links, no images, no attachments. They hurt delivery and they’re one more thing to ignore. The subject is two to four words, lower case, like an email from a colleague.

   The shape

   Subject: [2 TO 4 WORDS, LOWER CASE]
   
   {{firstName}} - [WHY YOU'RE WRITING TO THEM NOW, IN ONE LINE]
   
   [WHAT CHANGES FOR THEM, IN ONE LINE]
   
   [ONE EASY QUESTION]?
   
   [YOUR NAME]
   
   PS [A GUARANTEE, A RESULT OR SOMETHING FREE]

6. 6

   Read it out loud

   If you wouldn’t say it to a founder across a table, rewrite it. Aim for words a ten-year-old knows: grade 3 to 5 on a readability checker.

   Prompt for Claude or ChatGPT: check a draft

   Check this cold email against these rules and fix what breaks them:
   1. 25 to 50 words, counted from the name to the end of the PS.
   2. The first line gives a real reason for writing to this person now.
   3. One line on what changes for them, in plain words. No product jargon.
   4. One easy question. It asks for a reply, not a meeting.
   5. No links, no images, no attachments.
   6. It reads like something a person would say out loud. No sales phrases like "I hope this finds you well", "leverage", "streamline", "solutions" or "I'd love to".
   7. Grade 3 to 5 reading level.
   
   Show me the fixed email and its word count. Don't add anything that isn't true.
   
   [PASTE YOUR EMAIL]

What good looks like

An email you’d be happy to get yourself: about them, true, short enough to read on a phone in five seconds, and easy to answer.

Mistakes to skip

• Writing about yourself. The first line is about them.
• Asking for 30 minutes in the first email. Ask for a reply.
• Adding a link to look credible. It hurts delivery and gives them homework.
• Changing two things between tests. Change one line at a time, or you won’t know what worked.